A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"

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This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

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This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

A couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of reproduction bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."

The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments: "See! That was more

than 5 times a month!"

The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

Again the wife bugs her husband: "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do

YOU say to that?!"

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison... The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"

The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells: "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back: "Sure, once a day! But

ask the announcer if they were all with the same cow!!!"

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This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.

After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.

After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

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This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaimed. "That's terrible!"

His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands.

Finally, the president looked up and asked, "Just how many is a brazillion?"

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This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

LOL

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Wisdom is the knowledge gained through your own mind, intelligence is knowledge passed on by anothers

The Falling Fist

I'm a Priest God never paid

Never avoid temptation, as you get older, IT will avoid you.

LMAO, yo that last one was really good. Keep em coming IS.

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Leader of US Confederation
Freedom is not free.

14:24:50 | Vigilante planet Rouge II has been captured by Frost Monarch, IDG Elite Force.
14:24:50 | Vigilante has been defeated by Frost Monarch.
23:15:26 | nineyII planet RememberTheP

lol nice

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Shadow Industries Member
Brown Belt

Famous last words:

1. "...Ooops, what do you mean oops..."

2. "Why is the red light flashing?"

ugh i hate bush bashing.....

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Just here to spam a little over the summer....
i would have voted for warp to go to neggy planets, if i was around during the time of the vote....

does the joke mention bush? never presume anything

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This Useless Post Was Brought To You By Infernal Shadow

Power corrupts. Absolute power is even more fun

I think it's funnier that he hates Bush bashing, but then identified the joke with Bush, instead of another president . (Note: I have nothing particular against Bush, aside from my general anti-authoritarian views of the president and large government that I'd have for any of them. If I should, too bad, if I shouldn't, too bad ;P.)

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SkyLords Head Programmer

Spelled: I I R I (not irii, irri, or iri).

Force of nature.